Golf is still a sport that I can’t afford. I tried my hands at it over PlayStation 3.
Mulligan is a term that I learnt from golf. It stands to mean – A mulligan is a second chance to perform an action, usually after the first chance went wrong through bad luck or a blunder.
There are times when life throws you the same event to relive and experiment with. The times are even rare when we stand to recognize this second shot at dealing with the same event differently. I had the opportunity in the recent past.
The context :
There is this retail outlet in my ODC where folks tend to pick bits and bolts to check things off their shopping list. I stood waiting in a queue for my turn to get billed. And just like that, we had a person shamelessly cut through the line and approach the counter to get billed.
Outcome 1 :
That was a day much similar to most days that I’m used to. I was not in a foul mood. I was myself. Chirpy and sarcastic. So when I found myself being snubbed by the queue jumper, I approached the bloke and said that they should be very proud of themselves for being civic sense challenged. I said it must be hard being a lousy individual with no regard for social norms of being polite and civil. I also had the audacity to tell em that they knew I was right and they knew what they had done was wrong and there was nothing they could do about it because they were guilty as hell.
The bloke had to listen to the sarcastic accusation and still not do much about it. I was right, they were wrong and we both quite understood the status quo.
Outcome 2 :
Only this time, I smiled and said, “I’d like to believe there is a queue”. The bloke shrugged their shoulder and asked me if there was one. “I’d like to believe there was one”, I sheepishly admitted. I was in no mood to confront in whatever capacity that day. The bloke quietly stood behind me.
This time, I got my things billed, I picked up 2 chocolates and got them included into my tab. Once my bills were settled, I turned around and handed the bloke the chocolates. I said “Thanks a lot for valuing my thoughts about a queue. I take immense pride in gifting you this chocolate”
Both outcomes did instigate a response in the heart and mind of the offender. Outcome 1 was the age old practice of doing something wrong and getting punished or reprimanded about it. My response was engineered to insult and offend, no matter how I chose to mask it.
The latter, it was a reward for being nice. It was an appreciation of making that choice in doing something right. I felt happy doing it. I felt better adopting this. The bloke’s smile and surprise over the chocolate assured me of the value in the choice I had made.
I liked outcome 2 better.
More often than not, when folks do something bad, when they break rules, it’s the consequence that puts them on an Aggressive and Defensive mode. People would make that choice to stand out and Assert themselves to avoid being insulted or offended. This reflex reaction is so strong that it forces them to add on to their offensive streak.
People want to be good by default. When they break rules, that doesn’t make them evil. It only reflects that they see certain things as acceptable. A smile and a sensible negotiation might do the trick better than screaming our lungs out.
Next stop, try experimenting with violators on the road 🙂