The big goodbye


“Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you! When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes me not want to go! Okay? So if you think that, that I didn’t say “good-bye” to you because you don’t mean as much to me as everyone else, you’re wrong. It’s because you mean more to me. So there! All right? There’s your good-bye! ” – Rachel & Ross

One of the hardest things that I’ve endured is a heartfelt goodbye. In the truest of sense, no one really leaves. We share the same place in the same universe. We can call ourselves as being on different pages of the same damn book called LIFE. We can console ourselves by reminding each other that the world is a small place and we are always a thought away and a click of button away. Yes, all of them are true. AND YES, none of them mean jack squat. Distance distances people. Distance throws in a challenge. Distance shows and there is nothing much to do about it at times.

Yeah. As I stared, a goodbye is one of the hardest thing that I’ve endured. 

Growing up, it was easy to deal with byes. I never did care enough to feel affected by the word. While my school mates cried their tears to glory sitting and staring at the empty stage of nostalgic memories, I stood smiling about the glories of life waiting to be experienced. Then it was the time to leave the college and I was happy as happy could be to get myself liberated from its walls.

Saying goodbye to people has different as opposed to places and routines. Amicable goodbyes have always been a rarity. We’d let life continue and that was that. The stereotyped obligatory birthday wishes would kept us connected. Then the birthdays would come followed by the birthday messages. I enjoyed placing folks in this category of the ones who mattered enough to wave an amicable bye. It’s these folks because of whom I’m thankful for the age of technology that is today. These have been the folks who were always a Whatsapp message away. These were the blokes who were a poke on the Facebook away. These were the folks who were a phone call away. Only such calls were made once in a bleeding blue moon.

Saying goodbye to someone close to heart is a tricky business. The easiest way to deal with the separation has always been the tried and tested means of picking up a fight. A quick fight, a temper tantrum later, I’ve found it easy to pack bags and leave. That was all there was to the method though. The moment of fight and once things subsided, I’d fell the remorse over not making that one last-ditch effort to share a smile, or a tale to sign the day off. The matters of the heart are as messy as we choose them to be.

It is the moment of goodbye that brings the history to life. The moments shared, the smiles smiled, the miles walked, the stories shared, the life spent in each other’s company, all of it springs into a nice little flash of a montage. I’ve seen death. I’ve seen heartbreaks, I’ve survived treachery of the deceptive devil of the mind. An amicable bye, That is the hardest that I’ve had to endure.

The telly played the episode where Rachel gets to say her goodbyes. Her hardest was the one saved for Ross. I couldn’t help but feel that pinch in my own beating heart.

As the song from the movie Haider goes, ‘ Bada hai dard ka rista’ . Let me leave you with the words that capture my moment to perfection.

Bada hai dard ka rishta
Dard ka rishta…

The relationship with pain is a big, important one..
The relationship with pain..

Bada hai dard ka rishta
Ye dil ghareeb sahi
Tumhaare naam pe aayenge gham-gusaar chale..

The relationship with pain is an important one,
Even as this heart is poor,
Hearing your name, the consolers will come (easily)..

I guess this is goodbye huh!!!! Ah damn. As my bags get packed and I’m all set to leave in a jet plane, I’d probably sit and wonder.Hey you


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