Pages of life

” Coffee? Sure is a wonderful way to handle headaches on a Monday” I said as I handed out a cup of strong brew. 


Far away from the distraction of the rows and columns of her screen, she mustered a gorgeous smile that left me feeling warm fuzzy and fantastic. ” Thank you” she mouthed silently. 

i flashed a quick thumbs up and made it back to my desk. Ah the sweet smell of bitter coffee and a feeling of satisfaction. The day was as insignificant as other days. I found meaning in the pointlessness of a gesture of random kindness of sorts. Well, not so random maybe. 

**************

“I like the rain. Thank you so much for whisking me away from desk. I don’t remember the last time I smiled carefree at the rain.” She rested her head on my shoulder while I fixed my gaze upon a rainy sky. It sure was a perfect moment, orchestrated by the master of all strings. The works of fiction, the conspiracy of the universe, all of it made harmonious sense that moment. 

I stood in silence and soaked in the moment. Everything tiny little detail felt amplified. The rustle of water drops meeting trees and concrete, the gentle howl of breeze giving them drops a direction, the smell of water and mud, the smell of flowers , that chill in the air. It felt like an eternity trapped in a vivid moment. There were far too many details to absorb. I shrugged at the truth that rested beyond the moment. The intricate fabric of the moment would soon be lost as mere memories. The mind would mask the details and retain the gist of the moment. My mind would , one day, read it all as two blokes caught in the rain. The heart would succumb to time and dilute the intensity of the moment that was. In time everything would erode away and I knew I’d be left with a mirage of a truth that I alone experienced as a moment that defied eternity. 

Beyond the first set of words she spoke, she didn’t speak much after. The conversation had neatly wrapped itself to a close. There was nothing left to conclude, there was nothing left to explain. In silence, we were the only audience to a wonderful opera. The day was as insignificant as other days. I found meaning in the pointlessness of a random moment of sorts. Well, not so random maybe. 

*************

“It’s ok. I’m here now”. Words were not my ally that afternoon. Articulation was a boon and a bane that day. I had a million things to say but I knew better. It was a comforting assurance that was in order. The moment mandated that fewer words be used. The overwhelming sense of having my heart crushed was inexplicably present. I couldn’t understand the whys. I didn’t understand the things that triggered such a pain. I didn’t know if there was a pain to endure at all. Things felt different. Things felt hard. 

Reduced to tears, her eyes had puffed up. The dignity of crying silently was a skill that she had apparently mastered. Little did she know the devastation her tears could wreck. 

The moment of few words, five to be exact, turned out to be the right ones indeed. With a soothing sun above our heads, we had opted to walk a distance to distract a heart in pain. 

We held hands and walked. The day was as insignificant as other days. I found meaning in the pointlessness of a random moment of sorts. Well, not so random maybe. 

***********

Dear diary

I guess you are the only one that is akin to the world that I have buried within the confines of my heart and mind. I do wish I could do the things I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t know what kept me from offering a cup of coffee. I wish I could ask to join a walk under the rain. I so so so wish that I had the courage to offer a word of solace when she looked distressed. 

I held myself back. It’s an ironic pity that I’m armed with words and yet shoot blanks when they mattered the most. Another world of words and dreams came crashing in today. It was a nice wedding card that called out the dates. One name lost in obscurity and another, trapped in my heart forever. I guess today’s been as insignificant as other days as well. Today, I only see pointlessness. 


Note :Inspired by this awesome song called Maruvarthai Pesathey! 

Karthik

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