Must come to a close, or so the title would have gone to read. I couldn’t bring myself to complete that sentence. I guess it’s one of those many idiosyncrasies to life that I find myself surrounded by. I’m barely materialistic and in fact, the one good redeeming quality of mine that I’m actually proud of is that I’m barely materialistic at all. I don’t yearn for things. I save a few bucks, buy what I want to and the minute it’s in my possession, I treat it like garbage. That’s always been me. I don’t find myself swayed by the glitter of things.
That said, my dad’s phone call changed left me a little stirred. It was uncharacteristic of him to call me during the working day. Dad usually would wait for me to reach out. Today, there was a persistence in his calls. I cut the line the first time. It also usually meant that I was in a meeting and I’d return the call soon enough. Today, the hint was missed. There were pressing matters at stake, I presumed. I eventually relented and called home.
There was a point in time when my entire life ahead was one big plan made from dreams which were turning into subtle realities. I was a musician back then, check, same cocky outlook to life , check, I had a job that paid reasonably well, (that hasn’t change even today), and it was the time to upgrade from a uber cool Bullet thunderbird to a car.
The conversation that refuses to die despite the fact that promises made had died a long time ago and memories buried along with them dead promises. Don’t buy a black car Karthik. It’s going to be ours. Black is just a bad sign!!!!
Now that I reflect, I did enjoy that metallic Azure Grey better.
I remember the first time I had my hands on her. Maruti Swift, abs and stuff. I didn’t know to drive a car. My first ride, I had my folks seated in the back seat, I kept stalling the car to immobile glory. I had a friend drive me over to GP road, and the car was officially inducted into the hall of musical fame that evening. Everything stock was ripped out, we had new audio systems replacing the stock ones. The car now rocked. Yeah, the satisfied excitement of listening to all your favourite songs in your own car.
Rio had sung, Dream on.. and the car has always stayed true to that spirit of dreaming on and keeping all dreams alive.
Speaking of dreams, I know I’m sounding like a deluded bloke when I personify a car but I am a deluded bloke and it’s all the more the right reason for me to treat her as a friend who has always been there. The car has seen the best of me and has endured the worst of me. I tasted my break up on the driver’s seat. It was a horrible evening. A small argument spiralled into a massive epic apocalyptic fight. I remember screaming out in sheer damned frustration. The whole car shook from my vociferous sound’s whiplash of sorts. Moments later I knew , deep down, that things were over. Acceptance came years later.
It’s not about the unpleasantness that has always remained as stains from tears on the steering wheel’s leather casing. That car has had millions and millions of moments of happiness and laughter echoed within it’s closed doors. Road trips, races down the highway, speeding through recklessly and the gradual turning to a slow coach, that car has seen all the shades of my own personality. It’s been my escape when I couldn’t deal with my anger, It’s been a shoulder when I needed the road and the unwinding sky to cry, it’s been my own studio where I’ve mixed my compositions to judge how the EQs were balanced, it’s been my friend to let my spirit soar free. Behind it’s inanimate wheel, I’ve conjured plenty of words to breathe life into the many characters that I’ve written and subsequently killed off in massive emotional blaze of glory.
As much as I’ve loved it, I still did have the heart to buy a new car, a bigger one. I went on to make more memories in the new one too. She also has seen her fair share of tears and smiles. I guess that is a testament to life. Life goes on. One always can , WILL, Should go on to make newer memories. There will always be newer things to cry over and smile and cherish.
Change is the way of life. It’s upon such changes do we make the time to reflect the wonderful ride that we’d have enjoyed so far. She came into my life, a brand new thing of beaut, and while the world sees her as an old girl, of rust and rot, she’d always be my girl, the beautiful one with full of life and zeal. I’ll miss you old girl.
I cant shake away the drama to the moment. We part ways when we aren’t around each other…..
And that’s that 🙂